10 Minutes of Cry-Baby

So, I'm in Jeff City, MO getting ready to take the MO Bar Exam tomorrow. On the 3 hour drive down here, I was feeling sorry for myself and angry at the world (unusual emotions for me), so I decided to allow myself 10 minutes once here to whine and complain, then get back to work. This my whine forum. So here goes...

Puppy mills all over the world are pissing me off. That people can't see the need for compassion towards an animal that was created by humans, is totally reliant on humans, and is relentlessly forgiving of our flaws is so sad. I typically think people are inherently good, but I do judge people for their inability to feel empathy for an animal. People think animals don't have human emotion, but you only have to spend a week, a day, in our home to see that isn't true. To see my dogs anxiety when I cry, to see their shame if they have an accident in the house, to see their joy when a toy or leash comes out. How can people not see that?

Puppy mills are the reason Gus is the way he is. Why he was so afraid when he came to live with us for 2 months. Why, when placed in his new home, he was so fearful as to break through his leash and run and run and run until no one knows where he is. Why, even if we find him, he won't trust us to approach him and take him home where he can be taken care of. The two months he spent being loved and cared for in my home are nothing compared to the two years of neglect and indifference he learned at the puppy mill.

And then no one seems to care. I've heard more times than I can count that he was just a foster, not my dog, etc... I'm not sad for me, because he wasn't my dog, I had no future with him. I am sad for him. That he is out there in the cold and scary wild, a place he has never been before, dealing with coyotes and cars and all other sorts of things he has never seen before. That he may very likely die afraid and alone, not in the loving arms of someone who cares about him. That if he trusted anyone in the world, it was me, and this is where he has ended up. How can I not do anything I can to help save him from the situation he is in?

I'm frustrated with the dog lovers in Colorado. I expected a community of people to come forward to help find him, but the response has been small. Only a few kind people have come out to look for him. I couldn't imagine a lost dog, especially a Berner, being lost in Kansas City or within a few hours and I wouldn't go out to volutneer to help look for him. Am I so busy I don't have time to do that? That instead of going out for lunch one day I couldn't go look for an hour? Instead of watching tv at night? Instead of staying at a dog show all day, even after my dog is finished showing? I know I would want people to help me look if I lost Jackson, Hilga or Lemon. I know I want people to help look for Gus.

Today driving out of Sedalia, I saw two dogs running along side of 50 highway. Were they lost? Probably not, they were probably farm dogs. SO I didn't stop and pick them up. Maybe I should ahve. I did call the Sedalia Animal Shelter, who told me they didn't do that and to call the Sedalia Animal Control, who said said their Animal Control person wasn't in today and to call the neighboring county, who said they don't have Animal Control so they coulldn't do anything, so I called the Animal Shelter back, who said, well... hopefully the police do something. To which I just about screamed. Its not that the world isn't helping, but that it seems to fighting this effort every step of the way.

Last summer in Sedalia, when Jackson won his major, the day was pretty much ruined. It was pouring down rain outside, we were in the motor home, and there was a lost dog running around on the fairgrounds. A beagle mix. When we talked to the show chair and told them a beagle was lost on the fairgrounds, they were so concerned and told us to bring him in. When we came in dripping wet with a mix, they didn't want to take him. We would have taken him to the shelter, but it was closed and we were in the motor home and didn't live there. One lady actually suggested we let it loose again outside. One suggested the reason I was being so insistent was because we lost (we didn't even lose). Finally, one lady, who had an ounce of compassion, said better not just let him go, one got hit by a car last time we did that. And these are dog people... what does that say?

At the vet on Thursday, sitting in the waiting room with all three dogs, a little dog was hit by a car out in front of the clinic. Someone came in carrying the dog, a very gruesome sight, into a room, but it was obviously dead. The driver didn't even stopped. I felt sad for the dog, and sad for Gus, as that is one of fates he is looking at.

I have to take the bar tomorrow, enough said about that one.

I have to leave my job for the rest of the week to go out to Colorado, and I think this must feel similar to leaving your new born child alone for the first time.

I think that is it. No more feeling sorry for myself. Back to bar prep.